How I came to KNOW THE FUTURE:

At first, I thought I was being pranked by a friend, possibly as a very strange, early 38th birthday present. But the more letters I receive from the future, the more obscure and secret the details of my life they contain, the clearer it becomes that one of two things is happening: either I'm having a psychotic episode and writing these letters to myself without conscious knowledge, or the letters are real and I need to get busy attaching toaster coils to my underwear and figuring out what a Phlubbalubbanator does. Either way, my life as a janitor just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Letter Number One

I found this letter inside my front door on Monday, February 7th, 2011. I thought it was a fake, but now I'm not so sure.  I've received a second letter since, on the 10th.  I'm a little freaked out, a little excited.  If it's real, it's the craziest thing that's ever happened to me, to anyone maybe.  And if not . . . well, it's still the craziest thing that's ever happened to me.  Alright, enough from me.  Here's the first letter from the future:


Dude.  What do you make of that?  I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it.  Whether it's real or not, the author is right about one thing: I'd never let my dad off the hook like that!  I'd do whatever I had to just to keep him around.

True or not, I've got a lot of thinking to do.  And it just gets weirder in the next letter.  I'll post it tomorrow, after I have a chance to scan it in.  And after I see about finding that toaster in my garage.
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